Santa Shot Down by Armed School Children

SOMEWHERE, Tx. –  The NORAD Santa Tracker reports that they lost track of Santa’s Sleigh around 4:13 Christmas morning, Central Time. Around the same time it is reported by an undisclosed source that a fat, jolly man was admitted to an Emergency Department in Somewhere, Texas, for multiple gunshot wounds by a high power rifle.

The Intruder Remains Unidentified

The Intruder Remains Unidentified

“It is hard to say how much blood was lost,” reported a hospital spokesperson, “because the man was wearing all red.”

The police reports that a man was clamoring down a chimney when a few armed siblings, all of schookl-age, apprehended the trespasser with their  F-2000 assault rifles. A tragic Christmas day robbery was clearly narrowly avoided.

The gun-shot survivor remains unidentified at this time.

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