Washington, DC – The U.S. Army reports a sudden upsurge in applicants for enlisted positions. This DC Paper went on-location outside an area recruitment station to ask the recruits what ignited this new blaze of patriotism.
old’n’shit. That Betrayus dude, he’s like a Porn Star. Five of my buddy’s are signing up too! Word.”
When asked for comment, local recruiters requested that our reporters “Please go away.” This same statement is yelled by This DC Paper’s editors every time the recent sex scandal is again brought up as a headline more important than the economy, which occurs every second of every day. Our editors desperately need throat lozenges.